"The problem here, ya see, is a giant piece of metal in your tank."
It was a perfect day. Full of good food, champagne, a mani/pedi...and toilet repair.
I got together with some of the girls today; Natasha, Robyn, and Ryann all were good enough to come out and take me to brunch at Polker's (mmm, French toast combo!) and then a mani/pedi at Teashi. Afterwards, the gals came over to the apartment and I happened to mention our infuriatingly slow-flushing toilet, which doesn't so much flush as it does swirl water around inside.
Robyn, ever the helpful soul, bursts forth with, "I am very well-acquainted with the inner-workings of a toilet tank. Let's take a look." She removes the lid of the tank and peers inside. Horror and confusion: "What ...is that?" she asks, pointing to an odd, triangular piece of rusty and disintegrating metal which I always assumed served some purpose, but which I simply couldn't make out beneath all the rust. "I mean, maybe I've just never seen something like it before, but...does it do anything?" she inquires.
"Err...oh, you mean my kilo of coke? Drat, you've found our hiding place!" If only I had something as valuable stashed in my toilet. I realize that in fact, this big piece of metal was simply that: a big useless piece of metal. Ryann and Natasha join us in the bathroom to have a gander at this archaeological find. Things begin to take on the flavor of uncovering some lost piece of the Titanic...or, perhaps its loo.
Robyn requests a plastic bag (I bring several, along with gloves!), which she dons, bless her heart, instructing me to depress the handle "...and don't let go!" Natasha documents it all on film, and I wonder what neighbors must think, hearing four women giggling in the bathroom while repeatedly flushing the toilet.
Robyn has quite a time prying the piece of metal from the ceramic base of the tank, age and rust being what they are, and there is a brief struggle before it gives up the fight, is bagged and handed over to our Marlin Perkins of the bathroom. It has quite a serious heft to it...but we still don't know what it is. I'm thinking of posting photos later, and staging a contest. Michael hasn't looked at it yet; he simply lifted the bag, felt its weight, and let loose and incredulous, "What in hell was :this thing doing in our toilet?" (See the photo marked, "Well, it's made of steel..." I had to counter with a Paulie Walnuts Sopranos-style, "Oof, Mahronne!")
Okay, but the thing is while there is no longer a mysterious foreign object living at the bottom of toilet tank... that thing is now FREE of the toilet tank. Only a few thin layers of plastic stand between it and an unprepared world... [cue John Carpenter movie music]...
I got together with some of the girls today; Natasha, Robyn, and Ryann all were good enough to come out and take me to brunch at Polker's (mmm, French toast combo!) and then a mani/pedi at Teashi. Afterwards, the gals came over to the apartment and I happened to mention our infuriatingly slow-flushing toilet, which doesn't so much flush as it does swirl water around inside.
Robyn, ever the helpful soul, bursts forth with, "I am very well-acquainted with the inner-workings of a toilet tank. Let's take a look." She removes the lid of the tank and peers inside. Horror and confusion: "What ...is that?" she asks, pointing to an odd, triangular piece of rusty and disintegrating metal which I always assumed served some purpose, but which I simply couldn't make out beneath all the rust. "I mean, maybe I've just never seen something like it before, but...does it do anything?" she inquires.
"Err...oh, you mean my kilo of coke? Drat, you've found our hiding place!" If only I had something as valuable stashed in my toilet. I realize that in fact, this big piece of metal was simply that: a big useless piece of metal. Ryann and Natasha join us in the bathroom to have a gander at this archaeological find. Things begin to take on the flavor of uncovering some lost piece of the Titanic...or, perhaps its loo.
Robyn requests a plastic bag (I bring several, along with gloves!), which she dons, bless her heart, instructing me to depress the handle "...and don't let go!" Natasha documents it all on film, and I wonder what neighbors must think, hearing four women giggling in the bathroom while repeatedly flushing the toilet.
Robyn has quite a time prying the piece of metal from the ceramic base of the tank, age and rust being what they are, and there is a brief struggle before it gives up the fight, is bagged and handed over to our Marlin Perkins of the bathroom. It has quite a serious heft to it...but we still don't know what it is. I'm thinking of posting photos later, and staging a contest. Michael hasn't looked at it yet; he simply lifted the bag, felt its weight, and let loose and incredulous, "What in hell was :this thing doing in our toilet?" (See the photo marked, "Well, it's made of steel..." I had to counter with a Paulie Walnuts Sopranos-style, "Oof, Mahronne!")
Okay, but the thing is while there is no longer a mysterious foreign object living at the bottom of toilet tank... that thing is now FREE of the toilet tank. Only a few thin layers of plastic stand between it and an unprepared world... [cue John Carpenter movie music]...
posted by DC Corso at 10:53 PM
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