Florida Storms: Gods getting back at Jeb Bush for 2000 election debacle

In a statement released earlier today, the Greek god of sky and weather Zeus claimed responsibility for the multitude of storms pounding the Florida panhandle of late. "Consider it a protest regarding the shabby handling of the 2000 mortal presidential election," read the statement, "and while I'm at it, a warning to Jeb Bush regarding the upcoming election. I'm capable of a lot more damage than this, you know!"

When pressed for an explanation of why he was punishing innocent civilians when the Florida voting debacle was clearly the fault of the state's elected officials, the angry god proclaimed, "Look, I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm a freakin' god! People piss me off, I make my statement. So go ahead and put up your little storm shutters; but keep in mind, I'll be watching."

And while yesterday, a Florida judge ruled that Ralph Nader be kept off Florida ballots in November, the high court today intervened, to the total lack of surprise of the entire Democratic party. Do the latest storms have any relationship to all this? When pressed for an answer, Zeus groused, "I'd be making with the burnt offerings big-time right about now."