The Papers of Ms. Cantwell

Have People's Fingers Suddenly Gone Limp?

2006-06-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

I was stuck around the dinner table the other night, the Lone Non-Republican. Not that I'm a big fan of any particular party at the moment, but...Bush? No thanks. This is the man who said who better to head FEMA than a horse expert!

Anyway, you know it's going to be bad when other people start to begin their sentences by looking at you (because they sense that you are some kind of Liberal Thinker because you live in the Big City, I guess?) and say, "Now, I'm a liberal, but..." or "I'm not a racist, but what bothers me is when these people..." And thus begins the rant on Today's Latest Topic, How Horrible It Is To Press One For English. Because you know, that's really a pain in the A-S-S. Previously, I had been completely unaware that tax dollars were being spent on private corporations like SBC and Cingular to work this into their telephone recordings; I just assumed it was because they were too lame to hire real people to answer the damn phone. Okay, DMV - government agency. But seriously, folks -- it's all going electronic and computer anywya, so what's the big deal? But according to the education I received the other night, Our Tax Dollars are being spent on printing things in multiple languages when really, we should just print them in English because EVERYONE should know how to speak English. And it's also apparently annoying to have to hear other people's accents.

The fact is, most people living in America do understand English. If they've just moved here though - and this included your Ellis Island grandpa, so don't give me that sob story - they couldn't read and write it, and they DO want their children to understand it. So I suggest that our politicians stop cutting back every single program in which we teach English (yes, this includes bilingual Spanish to English! It's very simple to do with children) VERY WELL to our children. I know it's tempting to use that money for sports, military and building bridges in Alaska that go nowhere, but if you're gonna bitch about something, please put your money where your mouth is.

As for flags, no one complains about Columbus Day (okay, except Native Peoples, and that's within their right, too, because hello, AMERICA - they have a perfect right to march as well!), or St. Patrick's Day, or Cinco de Mayo...oh WAIT, no. I seem to recall on Cinco de Mayo it was suddenly WRONG to hold a Mexican flag up in America. Hmmm, why do you suppose that was, huh? But it's not wrong to hold up an Irish flag on St. Patrick's Day or an Italian flag on Columbus Day? I wonder!

America is a melting pot of many nationalities, people. That means cultures. Being an American means you are a MUTT. We all were another nation's refuse at some point in time, and came here because we didn't want to be someplace else. So get back behind your neatly manicured lawn and pour yourselves a hot cup of shut the hell up.

Sorry. Rant done.

"The problem here, ya see, is a giant piece of metal in your tank."

2006-04-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

It was a perfect day. Full of good food, champagne, a mani/pedi...and toilet repair.

I got together with some of the girls today; Natasha, Robyn, and Ryann all were good enough to come out and take me to brunch at Polker's (mmm, French toast combo!) and then a mani/pedi at Teashi. Afterwards, the gals came over to the apartment and I happened to mention our infuriatingly slow-flushing toilet, which doesn't so much flush as it does swirl water around inside.

Robyn, ever the helpful soul, bursts forth with, "I am very well-acquainted with the inner-workings of a toilet tank. Let's take a look." She removes the lid of the tank and peers inside. Horror and confusion: "What ...is that?" she asks, pointing to an odd, triangular piece of rusty and disintegrating metal which I always assumed served some purpose, but which I simply couldn't make out beneath all the rust. "I mean, maybe I've just never seen something like it before, but...does it do anything?" she inquires.

"Err...oh, you mean my kilo of coke? Drat, you've found our hiding place!" If only I had something as valuable stashed in my toilet. I realize that in fact, this big piece of metal was simply that: a big useless piece of metal. Ryann and Natasha join us in the bathroom to have a gander at this archaeological find. Things begin to take on the flavor of uncovering some lost piece of the Titanic...or, perhaps its loo.

Robyn requests a plastic bag (I bring several, along with gloves!), which she dons, bless her heart, instructing me to depress the handle "...and don't let go!" Natasha documents it all on film, and I wonder what neighbors must think, hearing four women giggling in the bathroom while repeatedly flushing the toilet.

Robyn has quite a time prying the piece of metal from the ceramic base of the tank, age and rust being what they are, and there is a brief struggle before it gives up the fight, is bagged and handed over to our Marlin Perkins of the bathroom. It has quite a serious heft to it...but we still don't know what it is. I'm thinking of posting photos later, and staging a contest. Michael hasn't looked at it yet; he simply lifted the bag, felt its weight, and let loose and incredulous, "What in hell was :this thing doing in our toilet?" (See the photo marked, "Well, it's made of steel..." I had to counter with a Paulie Walnuts Sopranos-style, "Oof, Mahronne!")

Okay, but the thing is while there is no longer a mysterious foreign object living at the bottom of toilet tank... that thing is now FREE of the toilet tank. Only a few thin layers of plastic stand between it and an unprepared world... [cue John Carpenter movie music]...

And the winner is....

2006-02-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

Anyone who guessed I'd wake up at 2:30 p.m. today, you win the kewpie doll.

And guess what day it actually was yesterday, without my knowing it? Yes, that's right -- Groundhog Day.

*Knocks forehead* So that was the problem!

Wish me luck with gown-hunting tomorrow. I'm in the highly-capable hands of Robyn Braverman, Bride Patrol. More later...

Monday Redux

2006-02-03T03:47:00.000-08:00

Do you remember that X-Files episode called Monday? It's the one where Mulder is doomed to repeat the same fateful day over and over, only with teeny tiny changes in it, each time ending with him and Scully's death by explosion with a bankful of other people during a foiled robbery. It's a pretty keen little episode, despite the fact that it's a blatant rip-off of Groundhog Day; Carol Burnett's daughter is in it, and she's quite good.

Anyway, I had a series of days just like that this week. TUESDAY: Overslept until Michael woke me up at twenty past twelve. "Don't you have to go to work today?" "SHIT!" Stumble out of bed, throw water on hair, toss on clothes and make-up, call for cab and arrive at work to General Chaos and his minions at my desk. I inadvertently board the incorrect bus home and switch buses in North Beach, WEDNESDAY: Overslept until Michael woke me up at quarter after twelve. This time, all he had to say was, "Hey." Me: "ARGHHHH!" Called for cab, stumbled into work to find that General Chaos' front was still strong; the L.A. office had sent time sheets to be entered. Fiends! I cancelled plans to go to see a friend's comedy show so I could work late and try to get caught up. We run out of half and half at work. The bus I am on coming home has a lot of crazy mumbling and singing people; I wonder if it's a full moon. THURSDAY: I may have broken the pattern by waking up on my own at 12:05 -- quite late but not quite oversleeping. I take a cab anyway because I am lazy. I stop at Walgreen's on the way in for half and half in case work still hasn't bought any; this turn out to be a correct assessment, and again I think I am on an upswing. I even almost rub elbows with Crazy Walking Man on Kearny, which is akin to seeing the groundhog's shadow, so I think maybe my luck is changing....or not. We still have a pile of work to slog through. But hey, that's what winter's always been about. And at least the box full of tapes with people praying no longer needs transcribing, so that's good news.

Right?

Just nod.

I wonder what time I'll wake up tomorrow....

King Kong: No more "Boil ma Potato!"

2006-01-23T01:03:00.000-08:00

And I say this because Michael and I watched the original King Kong over Christmas and M. pointed out that the Chief Native guy says something that sounds like "Boil ma potato - KONG!" ...twice! Well no WONDER Kong is kranky; the natives are demanding that he boil their potatoes.

(Sorry for the excessively long movie review to follow; I got a little carried away...) Anyway, we FINALLY managed to get some time and go see the new Jackson "Kong", and I have to say, I'm really impressed. I was skeptical before going in, what with the three hours and the fact that we'd just watched the first one and I did find my attention wandering during parts of the original (oh no, more running through the jungle...when are they gonna get to the LOG, already?) but I thought there was a lot of really great stuff in this one. If anything could have been cut, it was probably some of the NY bits at the beginning, and maybe Central Park.

But first of all....how creepy were the NATIVES?? Man, you knew you were watching a Peter Jackson film then! No "Ooga-booga Kong boil ma potato!" there. No, it was really more of a smash your head in with a sharp stick if you're lucky sort of deal. But you're really kind of asking for it, just wandering onto a place called Skull Island, past all the....skulls. I realize it was the thirties and they hadn't seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre yet, but even the very dim would have to know that's a bad sign. And did you catch the body bridges? Nice!

I also liked that Carl Denham was so sinister and just totally didn't see what was coming. Completely blind to what he was doing; it wasn't like he was two-diminsionally evil or anything; he was just stupid in that Hollywood white guy way. I thought it made sense that Ann stuck by Kong; that bugged me in the original that she would be running away from the one thing that was trying to protect her the whole time. It also made more sense now that probably Kong just snapped the necks of his brides accidentally on his little lair while whipping them around and then was like, Oh man! Bummer. Broken toy. And she kind of taught him how to quit knocking her around so much.

All of that just made the NY scenes much more effective and sad. I actually got a little teary eyed, which never really happened with the original. Not to say the new one is better; I just think they're taking a different twist, and this one was a really interesting look. I also appreciate the original Kong being more of heartless bastard, though -- remember how he just tears into people for not being Faye Wray? I kind of think Faye Wray was more like his own personal Barbie doll, whereas Ann Darrow really cares about the beast that saved her so many times in this one. Both have their merits... but I felt a lot sadder when this Kong died.

I really liked the "show" at the theater, using the original score and the "natives". The dance was hysterical. Michael recognized Smiegel (sp?) from LOTR playing the cook guy (friend of Charlie). I liked that Bruce Baxter came back to save them instead of being an ass, but still stayed in character and ran in the theater. And nice moment when Ann and Jack come through the gates and realize they've been there the whole time with the cameras.

Things that bugged me: Why did Charlie die??? "All hand on deck! Everybody on deck!" **sniff** And WTF happened to all the creepy natives? Did they figure out what was gonna happen and bug out? They were so awesome that you'd think they alone would be enough to get Carl Denham a grant from his studios to come back with a fleet of ships. Ummm...not much else bugged me, except for some excessive name-bandying in conversation ("Keep going, Jimmy!" "No, Mr. Hayes!" "Oh, Ms. Darrow." "Yes, Mr. Driscoll?" ARGH!!!).

OH and what was up with Jimmy's mysterious background? I kept waiting for it to come in handy or something, but it was never used. Oh well -- maybe Jackson is planning a remake of "Island of Lost Souls" and it will turn out that Jimmy came from there; he was once an animal experimented on by Dr. Moreau.

All in all, considering I used movie passes for this, totally worth it. I'd even pay for it again, though I probably won't considering we're way behind on our movies.

Book Banning, Anyone?

2006-01-18T22:18:00.000-08:00

I recently made the mistake of thinking we had progressed into the 21st century. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this and discovered how wrong I was! Book banning? I'm sorry, but isn't that illegal? Granted, I would love the attention if my writings were banned -- everyone knows a banned item gets twice as much attention as a boring old non-banned book -- but...erm...The Chocolate War??? I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the government should be so offended by a book about the dangers of nonconformity. Those Vigils--or that Bush Administration--can be right arseholes--when they want to. For those unfamiliar with Cormier's book, please take advantage of the ALA's site and give the chapter a listen. You won't be sorry.

By the way, this book used to be taught in junior high. I'm quite sure that now, you're lucky to find it in the public library. My own copy has now been safely secured!

And that's not all. I'm sure you're aware that despite the First Amendment to the Bill of Rights, there's quite a hefty list of banned and challenged books each year. Not only that, but plenty of books have been CENSORED from their original format. (Rolls eyes) Have we lost that much of our backbone, people? Are we so afraid of offending that we must now flip through the historical canon and rip out all which might cause cringing?

Immersion Stupidity

2006-01-16T00:22:00.000-08:00

I actually saw this article a while back and have been meaning to mention it for some time now. So now, if you'll just indulge me...**takes deep breath**

WTF???

Okay, I can understand how some fiction writers might think they can get a vague sense of what it's like to live like a junkie if they rent a room at the Baldwin for a few months. But frankly even that is pushing it, no pun intended, because let's face it: they're living with the knowledge that they can walk away from it at any time. They are, in fact, living fiction. There's nothing "immersion" about what they are doing, unless they are immersing themselves in their own stupidity. Fiction is the ability to make things up believably from your own imagination; if you can't tell a good story based on this simple guideline, then maybe you should write about something else.

Journalism, on the other hand, is supposed to be about reporting the facts. Since when is it so important for the reporter or journalist to contantly interject himself into the story? I'm getting sick of reading these articles written by self-absorbed journalists who are more interested in what they had for breakfast or how they think their interview subject is relating to them personally than in what is being said. If I want a food critique, I'll turn to the Food Section.

Ugh. Enough already! Immersion, Schmersion!

A Very Benbow Jesusy Christ-Christ

2006-01-16T00:16:00.000-08:00

In lieu of one of those chinszy Christmas letter, I kept a chinszy Christmas journal over our Christmas holiday in Garberville at the Benbow Inn. I figured it might make up for missing any local festivities; plus, this way I won't be telling the same stories exactly 100 times, to the chagrin of everyone I know... So here you go:

A Very Benbow Christmas, December 2005:

Michael and I left S.F. a little late on Christmas Eve, around 12:30, with me convinced we’d run into all kinds of traffic. Much to my surprise, there was NONE anywhere. I guess everyone left on Friday? Anyway, it was weird. We stopped only once, at the Safeway in Willets, to pick up sandwiches, crackers and cheese and what the hell, a bottle of white wine. Oh yeah, that’s right. You heard me.

So we hit the road once more, with the knowledge that we had only 65 more miles to go (and yay, empty bladders!). Incidentally, Willets is a great little hippie-burn-out town. It’s got skateboard stores and head shops and the town drunk is like, only 23 years old by the look of him – we saw him staggering towards the taco joint. It’s also very close to mountainous properties and lots of places that look like the hillbillies from Wrong Turn might lay in wait, stalking Eliza Dushku and other hip young twentysomethings. There were a lot of broken-sown vehicles with moss growing on them on the side of the road, which begs the question: why? Who leaves them there, and to what end? Just wondering…

More winding roads, and soon Michael commented, “I think we’ve entered the Shire!” Seriously, it’s beautiful up there past Leggett, with the lichen hanging off the trees and the mist-covered mountains…OH and the redwoods grew to enormous, Jurassic Park proportions. Truly amazing, this neck of the woods. Then we hit Garberville, on the Eel River , and the Benbow Inn – a full house for Christmas Eve, it looks like, and we made friends within minutes – an older couple who needed to use the guest registration spot we’d just parked in. I graciously offered to move – since I am nothing if not gracious (actually, I’m just amazed I was paying attention for once!) – and since then, they have become our wave-across-the-room pals. We also seem to have a SEATING ASSIGNMENT in the dining room. Either that, or we just happen to choose similar dining times as the somewhat creepy Pretty Barbie Family that has been eating at the table next to us. One of the girls is cute and smiles, but the other two kids seem to be a little stuck up. What a shocker.

OH I forgot to mention the ROOM!! Last year, when we went to the Benbow Inn for New Years’, we just got a sort of smallish room facing the front in the main building. It was no great shakes – nothing bad, but I made a mental note that next time I really ought to ask for something facing the river and garden in the back – there’s also a stone bridge and it’s very pretty right now – little lights for the holiday. So I signed us up for something called a terrace king suite, not really knowing what that was – all I knew was it was in the “historic” building, and that it was in lieu of a fireplace king suite, which were all taken. I had NO IDEA just how cool this room was gonna be. First of all, the main building is rather mission-style and the architecture is amazing and cozy and fabulous. The TERRACE rooms, though, are in a separate building. Our terrace overlooks the steps to the garden, the river and bridge – I’ll take a pic tomorrow before we go, but it won’t do it justice. We don’t hang out there, exactly, since it’s rainy, but it’s still pretty to look at. We’ve pretty much holed up in here for everything except meals. We watched “The Thin Man” and “A Christmas Story” last night (I had wine before dinner, followed by a martini, then a glass of cabernet…..huh WHAT? Did somebody say something?) after dinner. I remember watching part of “The Thin Man”, waking up in the middle of it, and thinking, I really want a cup of decaf. Heh! I felt a lot better after that.

So my tummy was a little sore this morning, and I really wanted breakfast at 10 a.m. – unlike most people with hangovers, food helps me feel better. So we had a giant brunch, then opened presents. Michael wrapped my gifts in special homemade “Lazy Sunday – Chronicles of Narnia Rap” wrapping paper (yes, Pam, he can send you the file of the pattern!!). I of course received my copy of “Serenity” – I think the outtakes was my favorite part, I laughed a lot at Nathan Fillion’s ad libs. The best part though, was….Michael and I both thought we were being very clever and got each other the same thing – the "Chronicles of Narnia"!! Yes, the books. Ugh. We should have seen it coming…

December 26, 2005:

There and Back Again:

I forgot to take pictures. But really, we did go there. And we ate a lot of excellent food. Last night, it was all about the special Christmas menu – cream of wild mushroom and tarragon soup, your basic green salad with a few candied pecans, PRIME RIB and at last, Yorkshire Pudding (very bready - it looked like a cinnamon roll! British friends -- is this correct??), and bread pudding for dessert which was a bit dry, but hey, not complaining. Some nice wine and man, I was out like a light at 10 p.m. – I must be getting old.

We made pals this morning over breakfast with our table neighbors from Arcata, Art and Julianna. We noticed Julianna last night in the lounge grooving (and by grooving, I mean listening to quietly – I’d hate to give you the wrong impression) to the jazz duet. Anyway, we hit the road today around 12:15. Saw a man walking along the road in Leytonville who looked just like Osama Bin Laden, disguised perhaps as a hippie. “The last place anyone would think of looking,” remarked Michael, adding as he squinted at the sign the man was semi-staggering past, “The…Fat Quail Quilt Shop!!” Clever indeed, Osama, but we’re onto you.

And that, in a nutshell, was our Very Benbow Christmas.

Escape from New Orleans?

2005-09-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

In today's sfgate, an article by San Francisco Chronicle journalist Chip Johnson details yet another shocking firsthand account by two Bay Area paramedics who were in New Orleans for a conference as the post-Katrina waters rose. When they found no immediate help coming, they tried to hire busses. When those busses were commandeered by the National Guard, they tried to walk out...only to be turned away at gunpoint by police of other towns. As they said, I wouldn't have believed it if they weren't there to see it themselves.

I need to be cheered up, so I think I'll go so Exorcism of Emily Rose tonight. Either that, or watch my cherished Dawn of the Dead DVD again. I don't know about you, but when movies about exorcisms and zombies become light-hearted comic pick-me-ups, something's amiss.

Drove My Chevy to the Levee....

2005-08-31T23:52:00.000-07:00

....but the levee broke because Bush took the money they were supposed to use to finish it, and it flooded.

And it ain't gonna stop anytime soon. Th-th-th-at ain't all, volk!

Can You Die From a Smell?

2005-05-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

I was just wondering this, riding on Muni and then entering the Van Ness Muni Station. I keep thinking, "Odor is particulate, odor is particulate, odor is particulate." I realize it's not like inhaling bleach but....well, maybe it is. Sure feel like it.

To the Security Guy at the Powell St. Rasputin Records

2005-04-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

Why such an asshole? S'all I'm saying.

Clean Closet?

2005-03-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

As you may have read in my prior post, M. and I were going to attempt to do a Clean House-styled closet cleansing this weekend. I pictured us making ENORMOUS headway through both closets; in reality, Michael managed to get through about 1/2 of the hallway closet, while I got through my half of the bedroom closet. I also finally decided to get rid of several books and and videos, though now that they're out, I have NO idea what I'm to do with them. I suppose we'll try and sell them, and if that doesn't work, donate them. But it's always so fun when you don't have a car! Still, I'm quite impressed by the amount of crap gone through and discarded. BLEH! More to do, but not as horrifying.

Why I Heart Clean House

2005-03-26T00:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, I realize there are more important things to write about than television -- especially if you don't live in Los Angeles. But I have fallen completely in love with Style Network's show Clean House. Its premise? They find a family/couple/person who has WAY too much clutter going on, extract all the stuff that can be sold at a garage sale and toss the stuff that should be tossed, and make beaucoup de bucks at the yard sale (seriously, one sold $2800 worth of crap!). Wait! we're not finished! They then MATCH the sales up to $1000 and use the money for redecorating/reorganizing. The painting and cleaning is paid for by the show, and that part happens while the homeowners are RELAXING at a hotel. How cool is THAT action? So far, my only cringe moments were when the decorator decided to paint a natural wood wall SILVER, but in retrospect I guess it kinda worked. Why do I gush so? Repeated viewings have inspired Michael to seriously consider letting go (selling) some of his items, and doing some reorganizing/shifting of stuff that I never thought would happen. I'm actually looking forwward to digging through closets and doing my Linda Koopersmith impersonation. "Piles of like items!!!" I'll let you know how it goes....

An Open Letter to the People Who Saw the Guys Stealing My Wallet on the 45 Stockton

2004-12-19T14:51:00.000-08:00

What, did you think I didn't need it? That I have a wallet for amusement purposes only?

I know there's plenty of justifications for not getting involved -- two guys that are bigger than you shooting you a warning glance to keep your mouth shut, or maybe you think this will "teach me a lesson" -- but ya know, it all boils down to caring about the human being standing next to you on some basic level more than you care about the joker who's lifting her wallet.

Ya apathetic losers.

An Open Letter to the Guys Who Stole My Wallet

2004-12-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

What, did you think I wouldn't notice?

And is it really worth all the trouble just to buy two BART passes? You know, for all the phone calls I had to make-and the trip to the DMV-it would have been better just to ask me for the $128 bucks. Given a choice, I would have sooner coughed up the dough.

And Jesus Christ, if you're going to lift someone's wallet on the 45 Stockton, couldn't you steal from the tourists? Do you know how embarrassing it is to admit I wasn't paying attention for the two minutes it took you to fish my wallet out?

And by the way, the DMV has a really crappy policy of NOT changing driver's license numbers unless you have proof of identity theft already occurring. Way to be pro-active! But that's another letter altogether.

So merry freakin' Christmas, assholes.

NBC's Medical Investigation a HUGE disappointment.

2004-09-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

And I had such high hopes for it. It's Neal McDonough's new show, and, well, him being so hot and all, I was sorta hoping it would not be horrible. *sigh* Boy, was I wrong. First, there's the soundtrack - they don't let up, not even for a minute. It's that urgent, OHMYGOD music that appears in bad Jerry Bruckheimer movies. Second, the scriptwriters are just awful. What was with that bizarre subplot of the woman trying to keep the story out of the press by locking the reporter in the closet? (Rolls eyes) And I won't even comment on the predictable separated-from-wife-because-he-works-too hard storyline. Do we really need that...again?

Apparently, NBC thinks we do.

Florida Storms: Gods getting back at Jeb Bush for 2000 election debacle

2004-09-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

In a statement released earlier today, the Greek god of sky and weather Zeus claimed responsibility for the multitude of storms pounding the Florida panhandle of late. "Consider it a protest regarding the shabby handling of the 2000 mortal presidential election," read the statement, "and while I'm at it, a warning to Jeb Bush regarding the upcoming election. I'm capable of a lot more damage than this, you know!"

When pressed for an explanation of why he was punishing innocent civilians when the Florida voting debacle was clearly the fault of the state's elected officials, the angry god proclaimed, "Look, I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm a freakin' god! People piss me off, I make my statement. So go ahead and put up your little storm shutters; but keep in mind, I'll be watching."

And while yesterday, a Florida judge ruled that Ralph Nader be kept off Florida ballots in November, the high court today intervened, to the total lack of surprise of the entire Democratic party. Do the latest storms have any relationship to all this? When pressed for an answer, Zeus groused, "I'd be making with the burnt offerings big-time right about now."

9/11 -- Same Time, This Year

2004-09-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

So the other day I checked my TiVo and discovered that it had picked up a few programs on 9/11. Sad to say, I've been so busy I clean forgot that it was that time again. HBO had done a documentary a while back that I missed, but here it was, waiting for me on the machine, so I plunked down and turned it on. There was no annoying voice-over by some talking head, just video footage and photographs from random people - some journalists, some just average Joes/Jolenes who were near the area that day. Occassionally, this footage was interspersed with interviews with the mayor and his staff, all of whom recounted where they were and what they did throughout the day. Now, I'm against the war and all and I think Bush is a weenie -- but that's because I see absolutely no link between 9/11 (a bin Laden-hosted affair) and Iraq; certainly, Afghanistan was a stretch. But watching this, it reminded me that do what we will, evil is just plain out there. I mean, that's really all terrorism is, whether you're Irish or Muslim or Russian or American -- killing civilians in the name of your cause is, quite simply, the act of a coward. I doubt that randomly attacking countries is going to change any of that.

I didn't lose anyone in either the Twin Towers or the other two attacks, but I can remember how, for a few days, the world felt. At least, I can recall my world. Things were already strange for me; I was in the process of trying to evict a crack-addicted roommate who was finally in jail (9/11 delayed her hearing long enough for me to serve her with a restraining order at the jail), and much of my house was in disarray. I'd just arrived home from a trip to Seattle on the night of the tenth, and decided to deal with cleaning the next day. The morning of the eleventh, I called a friend and launched into the latest on the Roommate Bulletin, but she interrupted me with, "Have you watched the news at all?"

From there on, it was mostly a sit-in-front-of-the-tiny TV-in-my-bedroom kind of day (the living room TV had been secured at a friend's weeks ago to keep it from being ripped off by the roommate). There were other entropic events going on involving shifts in a relationship, and that definitely added to the fun. But more than that, I can recall the entire city being on edge for quite some time, watching the skies for stray airplanes or just bracing themselves for bombs. Every ride under the Bay in the BART train felt like it could be my last. At least I didn't work in the Transamerica Building - that must have sucked.

I can recall how everyone looked at the policemen who walked around town and in the BART stations, and the firemen who drove by, as if they were all heroes. I also can recall the war protests months later, and how those looks of gratitude had returned to thier usual mistrust.

For a few days there -- maybe even a week -- we were more or less united as a people. It only took government a few weeks to screw that up.

HR163: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

2004-09-10T01:35:00.000-07:00

What is this HR163, you ask? Well, simply put, it's a bill requiring mandatory military service for all 18-26 year olds out there that certain representatives will be trying to push through next year. Oh, I'm sorry, mandatory service sounds so rough. How about "enforced volunteering"?

Apparently, Democrats wrote this one, but after hearing Zell Miller speak, nothing surprises me anymore. A bad idea is a bad idea. The bill lists some reasons for exemptions (although college no longer applies); I sense a gay spell coming on!

"You will bow down before me, Kalel!"

2004-09-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

"...You, and someday, and your heirs!" This was the tone of the allegedly Democrat senator from Georgia, Zod - I mean, Zell Miller last Thursday at the Republican National Convention. I know I'm jumping on the bandwagon a tad late, but I was busy trying to figure out whose side he did more damage to - Democrat or Republican. I mean, it's only natural that at the RNC, most speakers would point out weaknesses in the other's side. Still, it would be nice if (a) they would instead point out their own strengths; and (b) they wouldn't be so...I don't know, um.... violent in tone. Okay, so Miller supports Bush. But to hear this guy talk, Kerry - nay, all Democrats! - are vile creatures simply for being. As Jon Stewart pointed out on The Daily Show (and how much do we love him?), Miller was practically saying, "How dare the Democrats put forth a candidate? And in an election year!"

Yeah, it's only natural for things to get ugly, especially when the presidency is at stake. Both sides are guilty of becoming mired in non-issues, like the whole swift boat thing, and who did and didn''t serve in Vietnam (did you ever think this would be an issue?). But get over it guys, and start discussing some real issues, already. I don't know about you guys, but after a display like the RNC ("I kept expecting them to break into a song and dance number called "We're So White!"), I'm leaning towards the side that isn't yearning for the "days when a man could challenge another man to a dual".